Strange Little Collecting Project

I know that I live in the modern, virtual world. I understand that more than half of the things that I do exist in a way that is completely abstract and intangible and wouldn’t even have existed 100 years ago. (What would I have done 100 years ago with all that time? What would I have been capable of?) Despite my love of Jane Austen characters, I have accepted this fact and I enjoy the conveniences that come along with all of this. But there is one thing that I just cannot accept as a part of this modern world. There is one thing that makes me say, “We’ve come too far.” No, it’s not space travel and the trillions of dollars that we spend on it. No, it’s not modern day weapons of mass destruction (nevermind the idea that according to the late, great, and exceptionally angry Bill Hicks we could, “take all that money that we spend on weapons and defense each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human bein...

Public restrooms are not exactly my favorite place to be, for obvious reasons, but something is happening that is making them almost unbearable. I am speaking not only from the perspective of a lady that has to use public restrooms, but also as a former retail and food industry employee that had to clean them. Either way, something has to give. Ladies: you have got to stop with the hovering. I understand that I am offending some of you. I am stepping on your toes. I am making you gasp and roll your eyes. Please just hear me out. I went to Target today to buy something aesthetically pleasing and minimally useful when I realized Sweet Baby Moses, (in a wicker basket…floating down the Nile) I had to pee. I’m really bad about drinking a gallon of water and forgetting that my bladder is only so big. Plus, many of my closest friends and family members know that my bladder control is only so-so. There was an incident with a giant hug from my giant cousin Wesley that ended with me being called...