Strange Little Collecting Project

I’ve always grown up around Bradford pear trees. They’re a pretty popular tree, so you’ve probably grown up around them, too. I didn’t pay them much attention though until a few years ago. We had a really tough winter (as far as North Carolina goes), and I remember my dad mentioning that he was worried that his Bradford pear wouldn’t make it through another snowstorm. Bradford pears are a cultivated tree that wouldn’t exist if horticulturists hadn’t willed it so. They were engineered to grow quickly, and to be beautiful. Bradford pears are very popular with landscapers because of this expediency and curb appeal; if they plant these trees in a brand new development, the Bradford pears give that neighborhood the look of permanence that is often lacking from new construction in just a few short years. Heartier, sturdier trees grow much slower and the new neighborhood has that stark, naked look. There is a flaw in the tree design though. The crown of the Bradford pear grows much quicker th...

Living in North Carolina during March can be tough, especially if you aren't a basketball fan. And if you tell someone in North Carolina that you don't like basketball, they act like you've just said that you don't like Cheerwine, Krispy Kreme, or Jesus. In North Carolina people don't just love basketball. They devour it. They plan their entire month of March around it, scheduling surgeries during the NCAA tournament so they can miss work and watch basketball, or unscheduling birthday parties and weddings so they can do the same.They indoctrinate their children and dress them in onesies and bibs dedicated to a specific team. They raise flags in their yards, and put stickers on their cars in support of their team. They wear the same color everyday for weeks and talk junk to friends, family, coworkers, strangers in line at the pharmacy. It's called March Madness for a reason. Trying to explain why I don't like March Madness is difficult. Before I star...

Dear Tall People that Frequent Live Music Events without Stadium Seating, Please do me a favor. (Who am I you might ask? I am a stranger, but I typically get along with most people that I meet. So there’s probably a 66% chance (at least) that if we knew each other, we would have mutual respect and benevolent feelings towards one another. So go ahead and do this favor for me. Consider it a down-payment on our friendship). Turn around and look down. Is there anyone standing immediately behind you that is at least 8-12 inches shorter than you are? If the answer to this question is yes, please be willing to admit to yourself that you are severely hampering this person’s ability to enjoy the concert that is happening a few feet in front of your face. You know, your face that sits squarely on your shoulders a good six feet above the ground? It would be oh-so-kind of you to ask this smaller statured person, and his/her smaller statured friends if they would like to stand in front of...