Strange Little Collecting Project

I know that the world is cynical and jaded and it doesn’t need me adding to that with a snarky blog. I know that I could find something joyful and positive to write about. But I experienced something this weekend that has made me forget about life’s small pleasures and the beauty that humanity is capable of. I watched Jersey Shore for the first time in my life. Sure, I’ve seen highlights before (Snooki getting punched by that high school gym teacher in a bar), but I’d never sat down and watched an entire episode. This weekend, I watched two episodes…I think. It could have been six episodes because time seems to pass differently when I’m watching Pauly D. and Mike “The Situation” spray cologne on their appendages and then make out with two girls at the same time in the Ladies’ (and I use this term lightly) Room. Plus, two hours feels like an eternity when you’re with Snooki and JWoww. Since I’ve only seen two episodes, I might not be qualified to comment on the show as a whole, but I’m ...

Tonight I sat next to an awkward-first-date at the coffee shop. I almost had to move because I was so distracted by their awkward-first-date conversation and I couldn’t focus on the analysis essays I was trying to grade. So I did what all self-respecting people would do…I put my headphones on, turned the sound down, and looked like I was deeply absorbed in my papers while eavesdropping in on this couple’s first post-Match.com conversation. I tried to think of my last first date and sadly realized that I can’t remember it. I can’t remember the last time I’ve said with any amount of certainty, “I’m going on a date tonight.” I’ve said things like, “I’m hanging out with this guy,” or “I’m meeting this guy at this place,” but it’s been a very long time before I had a mutual understanding of “yes, this right here is in fact an actual, honest-to-God date.” As I listened to these two people (while pretending to completely ignore them) go through 1st date banter, I was very thankful for ...

Some days my job freaks me out so much. Today was one of those days. Today, I missed the jobs I worked in college and high school when I was in charge of tidying the t-shirt table, ringing up people for their pizza and beer, or baking a tray of Cinnamon Crunch bagels for 8 minutes in the walk-in oven. Sure, there were consequences if I screwed up. People would struggle to find a medium V-neck t-shirt, or they were shorted a nickel or two, or they didn’t get to eat their favorite specialty bagel for breakfast. But none of these consequences were life altering. And my job was as secure as my performance so there was the possibility of getting canned, but my success rate was almost always in my own hands; I was solely responsible for myself and I took that responsibility very seriously. My job isn’t so simple anymore. Today, 84 teenagers between the ages of 14 and 17 directly depended on me for 90 minutes of their day, and 270 minutes of mine. And today, my students made me feel incredibl...

As an English teacher, I spend a lot of my time sitting around with teenagers discussing books. A good discussion in an English class remains a favorite pastime; it’s enlightening and energizing, a practice that some of the greatest thinkers like Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates thrived on and sought out. But over the last couple of years, I have noticed a distinct change in my class discussion and at first I was furious. I’m talking throw-a-kitten-at-a-ceiling-fan angry (exaggerating obviously, so quit judging me). At least once a week, no matter what literary masterpiece we are discussing, someone in my class compares it to Twilight . Is Twilight becoming some new type of Godwin’s Law? Godwin argued that if a discussion is allowed to go on long enough, eventually someone will make an analogy to Hitler. His law is specific to online discussions, and we all know virtual-world exchanges tend to be nastier than in the real-world; it’s a lot easier to compare someone and their beliefs to Hi...

While tooling around on NPR’s website today (I was hoping that by choosing the verb “tooling” that statement would sound less pretentious), I came across an article that literally made me say, “Really?” Out loud. Into my (cold) empty apartment. You can read the article here , but I will provide a slightly biased and abridged summary below. There is a mother who recently discovered that Nutella is unhealthy and she is (rightfully) upset because her daughter has been eating this “healthy” snack for years. She was “tricked” by those Nutella commercials where the best mom in the world spreads a glob of chocolate delight on a piece of whole-wheat toast and gives it to her three children for breakfast. The plaintiff is also frustrated because Nutella is found in the peanut-butter aisle, so she assumed it had similar nutritional qualities. When she was told by some friends that Nutella is basically a spreadable candy, she was outraged, and decided to sue Ferrero, the company that makes ...

So the Steelers weren’t the only team to lose the Super Bowl this year. The Black Eyed Peas threw a couple interceptions, too. Despite the polarizing effects of the Super Bowl, the two nations seem to have united in their disappointment in the halftime show. And I watched it in a room full of people who could all agree: it was not very good. It felt like I was watching a (really expensive) talent show (with fireworks) at the local high school, and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, waiting for the performers to hit a sour note, ready for the whole thing to be over so I could stop being stressed out for them. Or it was like watching a kid on roller skates. He’s flailing his arms around, never quite balanced, and the entire time he looks like he’s going to fall on his face. But it wasn’t a high school talent show or a kid on roller skates. It was the Super Bowl. It’s the annual climax for corporate marketing departments; it’s the most watched televised event of the year (actual...