Whenever I try to watch Wheel of Fortune, I get really antsy; if I ever watch it, it's because I am waiting for Jeopardy to come on. Most Jeopardy-watchers that I know (myself included) are either obvious or closet know-it-alls. I was never good at things like sports or pretty much anything other than school, (plus I’m short) so I’ve always used sarcasm and intelligence as a defense mechanism. I guess watching Jeopardy and shouting out the answers like a jerk is my version of a pick-up game of soccer.
But I think I've recently discovered that I prefer Jeopardy for a very different reason. It isn't just a game show for smart people (or people who think they are smart); it is also a game show for control freaks. Jeopardy contestants don't spin a wheel. They select a category. They have complete control over what category they can select. And even if the contestants aren't knowledgeable in a certain category, they don't have to answer a question if they don't want to. There aren't any bankrupt or lose a turn questions on Jeopardy. If a contestant does get the Daily Double, they don't have to wager anything. Alex even tells Jeopardy contestants that they "have control of the board," when they select the question. Overall, Jeopardy contestants are able to control their own fates with more autonomy that Wheel of Fortune contestants, and I think that's why the show pisses me off so much. (i.e: What do you mean Bankrupt? I made no decisions that got me to Bankruptcy). The element of chance in Wheel of Fortune seems so unfair to me that I cannot even enjoy watching the show, despite the charisma of Pat and Vanna, or as I like to call them, Zeus and Hera...suddenly their agelessness makes sense. (I would watch it if the contestants were allowed to have geniune responses to losing everything instead of being forced to smile and nod all Stepford Wife-like...I wonder how many legit freak-outs have been edited out over the years).
The fact that I am a control freak is not news to me; most people I know who get into education are control freaks. But I've just recently started to think about the ways that this trait manifests itself. It keeps me from watching Wheel of Fortune, but it has much larger effects on my life as well. The past year alone I have been faced with more situations that I cannot completely control than in the first 27 years of my life combined. Whether it's financial problems (thanks to the anti-teachers legislators of North Carolina that are against allowing educators to make a respectable, livable wage), health issues, or an impending move to a new state, I've struggled with the fact that outside forces have more control than I do. Whenever I am faced with a situation that I cannot control, (large crowds, traffic jams, the flu, etc), my initial reaction is to get confused, get angry, cry, and then I just decide to avoid that situation all together...it's super effective. (Please spare me the, "You can't control everything but you can control how you react," argument. It's trite, self-righteous, non-human...and it's not what this blog post is really about anyway, so just keep reading).
The most encouraging thing (in a very selfish way) about being a control freak, is knowing that I am not alone. I know plenty of control freaks, many of which who want to control things even more than I do. I think it's a side effect of getting older and being autonomous. One of the best and worst things about becoming an adult is making all of your own decisions. You start to feel this sense of entitlement to your autonomy so when something comes along that you can't control, you feel like a victim. It makes sense that adulthood would turn people into control freaks. But I'm starting to wonder if other aspects of our recent instant gratification culture are speeding up the autonomous process and creating younger and/or more stringent control freaks.
Think about most of the modern technological devices that we depend on and interact with on a daily basis. The internet has increased autonomy tremendously over the last 15 years. You can independently do your taxes, take care of your banking, plan a vacation, design and remodel your house, advertise, socialize, franchise, etc. The internet has cut out a lot of those middle-men that used to be required as a means to an end, therefore increasing our sense of autonomy overall. Online shopping and the self-checkout have created a greater sense of autonomy. Cell phones have made us more autonomous when it comes to communication as we no longer have to depend on landlines or pay phones. If anything, Apple devices promote indepedence and individuality. An iPod is a perfect example of autonomy. You have complete control over what you listen to. You will never again be inconvenienced by a song that you don't like.
With all this new found autonomy, I'm wondering if society as a whole is getting a false sense of control. There are so many things that can and do happen to us on a daily basis that we have no control over. Inconvenient, traumatic and at times, terminal, health issues. Car accidents. Financial schemes. Natural disasters. When we've been given a sense of complete and total autonomy by these devices of convenience, we have a harder time facing the issues that prove just how little control we do have. Our legs have grown weaker because we've given ourselves a sense of solid ground, so when that ground shakes we aren't able to keep our balance. And then life, which isn't fair, becomes even more unfair. We feel victimized, depressed, and hopeless. Autonomy then becomes a pretty cruel paradox. The more control we start to have, the less we are able to control ourselves.
Maybe I should start watching Wheel of Fortune as an excercise in acceptance. Or maybe I should just stop over-analyzing everything, including my preferences in game shows.
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