Strange Little Collecting Project

Whether you’re apathetic, emphatic, or absolutely effing nuts, presidential elections bring the fundamental differences that we have with one another to the surface even more so than usual. The common ground that is left between us is eroded and washed away by the flood of polarizing bipartisan rhetoric that pushes our political extremes even farther away from one another. Maybe this is why liberals and conservatives shout at one another, because it is hard to hear one another from opposite poles of the political spectrum. Moderates--that elusive species that seems to be going the way of the Siberian snow leopard--can still hear one another with out having to raise their voices. Ironically, it seems to be our society’s ability to communicate with more ease than this world has ever seen before that is contributing to the nastiness of our presidential elections. Social media is most definitely exacerbating the decline of civility in American politics. Right now on Facebook, I hav

There’s a new show on HBO that I’ve recently started watching called The Newsroom. If you haven’t heard of it than you should probably check it out. I think it’s a very important show right now because it addresses a huge problem in our society: the ability of media networks to spin their journalism in order to obtain ratings. It is just another example of the bad synergy that an important aspect of our society—in this case, journalism—has with capitalism. (See also capitalism’s terrible marriage with environmentalism, public education, and the food industry…p.s. the list goes on). The show so far is about a famous cable news anchor named Will McAvoy who is known for his diplomatic, crowd-pleasing reporting. He bases his reporting on the ratings alone and so he frequently lets his guests off the hook, and he leaves his own opinions and beliefs out of his show. In episode one he has a very public meltdown , which directly and indirectly leads to his decision to become a more hone

I don't typically spend a lot of time on playgrounds or in parks. Considering the fact that I have no children and I don't teach elementary school, this is a good thing. But as I approached my big move to New Orleans, I found myself becoming sentimental about my hometown.  Since I was living 2 blocks away from my elementary school, I started taking walks everyday to revisit the playground that helped socialize me. I don't know what I expected from those walks, maybe a more solid sense of what moving meant.  But for some reason I was definitely expecting the playground to look exactly like it did 20 years ago. I was disappointed when I realized just how different everything was. I'm not sure why I was so disappointed. I think it made me sad to realize that the kids that go to that school now are making entirely different playground memories than I did. And based on the new equipment I saw on the playground, those memories are going to be a lot less painful. The first

So, in case you haven’t heard North Carolina has been passing some pretty awful laws over the last few months. The Amendment One Crusade was followed by House Bill 819, the bill that has made science illegal when it comes to rising sea levels on North Carolina Coasts. Last Friday, the House passed a bill that would make fracking legal in North Carolina within the next few years. It passed in a 66 to 43 vote. The bill will return to the Senate today where it will likely pass. I think I’m most upset because many North Carolinians don’t know what fracking is, yet it is a process that is being voted on that could affect some of the most densely populated areas of the state. Fracking—also known as hydraulic fracturing--is the process of extracting natural gas from shale that lies deep below the surface of the earth…like a mile deep or more. Fracking uses vertical and horizontal drilling to reach the shale basins deep in the ground and then water, sand, and “other components” (language us

Recently I’ve developed this really persistent and abrasive cough. I’m not entirely sure where it came from, but my most educated guess is that it came from cleaning out 4 years of stuff from my classroom. The Donny Darko sized dust bunnies managed their way into my lungs and now I sound like Joan Rivers’ great-grandmother. The problem with coughing though is that it’s not at all socially acceptable. Even though I've managed to embarrass myself with a powerful sneeze, typically people don't seem to mind if you sneeze... especially strangers. Since most people have very distinct sneezes, strangers don’t know what to expect. They don’t find sneezes to be incredibly obnoxious…even if they are in fact obnoxious because of the uniqueness and novelty of the sound. But most people sound relatively the same when they are coughing which I think leads to an overall intolerance of coughing in our society. If you don’t believe me, think about what you say to someone who is sneezi

We live in a country that is obsessed with information. I consume more information than I ever realize on a daily basis because it’s literally everywhere. If I’m pouring a bowl of Cheerios, I learn that “three grams of soluble fiber daily from whole grain oat foods, like Cheerios cereal, and a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol, may reduce the risk of heart disease.” As I pour my soymilk (lactose intolerance sucks) over the cereal, I learn that soymilk contains isoflavones and “medical studies show isoflavones may have potential health benefits [such as] lowering LDL cholesterol, maintaining bone density, [and] providing antioxidant protection against harmful effects of free radicals.” I usually eat my breakfast while watching the local morning news, and there is usually a ticker-tape of news whizzing by the bottom of the screen giving me more information, so I can watch the news while I watch the news. A lot of times I will watch the news and eat my cereal while scrolling throu

Disclaimer:  I know that my educational rants have been happening closer and closer together as of late, but I can’t help it. I am just too pissed off.  It's really tough to watch something you love get screwed over.  I promise to write more blogs in the near future about something embarrassing I did at the grocery store, but I’m just not feeling it right now.  So, if you're tired of hearing teachers complain about schools, you should probably stop reading. In the fall of last year, the North Carolina Board of Governors made it possible for state universities to raise their tuition as much as they want. Before this decision was made, students in the North Carolina University System were protected by a 6.5% cap, meaning they would only be spending 6.5% more for school each year. (Which still isn’t great, but at least it’s controlled). UNC-Chapel Hill immediately began discussing a 44% increase over the next 4 years.  Thankfully, the Board of Governors agreed to limit the inc

I’ve always grown up around Bradford pear trees. They’re a pretty popular tree, so you’ve probably grown up around them, too. I didn’t pay them much attention though until a few years ago. We had a really tough winter (as far as North Carolina goes), and I remember my dad mentioning that he was worried that his Bradford pear wouldn’t make it through another snowstorm. Bradford pears are a cultivated tree that wouldn’t exist if horticulturists hadn’t willed it so. They were engineered to grow quickly, and to be beautiful. Bradford pears are very popular with landscapers because of this expediency and curb appeal; if they plant these trees in a brand new development, the Bradford pears give that neighborhood the look of permanence that is often lacking from new construction in just a few short years. Heartier, sturdier trees grow much slower and the new neighborhood has that stark, naked look. There is a flaw in the tree design though. The crown of the Bradford pear grows much quicker th

Anyone who knows a teacher knows that we are some of the best complainers in the world, but around this time of the year, we get even better at griping. It's probably because we're getting e-mails everyday about how much more our declining health insurance is going to cost next year, and how much of a raise we aren't going to get again...ever. (It would be like ordering a large pizza for $8.00, and then being told by the pizza-man you could get a small for $10.00, and who in their right mind is going to celebrate that?). But I realized last week as I was driving home (from my 2nd job that I've recently had to take on to help make ends meet) that North Carolina legislators are taking a pretty risky gamble with their younger teachers. Right now I'm currently a fifth year teacher making what a 2nd year teacher made 3 years ago. The problem is that gas doesn't cost what it did 3 years ago. Groceries don't either. Recently my utilities went up 7.2 percent also. N

Living in North Carolina during March can be tough, especially if you aren't a basketball fan. And if you tell someone in North Carolina that you don't like basketball, they act like you've just said that you don't like Cheerwine, Krispy Kreme, or Jesus. In North Carolina people don't just love basketball. They devour it. They plan their entire month of March around it, scheduling surgeries during the NCAA tournament so they can miss work and watch basketball, or unscheduling birthday parties and weddings so they can do the same.They indoctrinate their children and dress them in onesies and bibs dedicated to a specific team. They raise flags in their yards, and put stickers on their cars in support of their team. They wear the same color everyday for weeks and talk junk to friends, family, coworkers, strangers in line at the pharmacy. It's called March Madness for a reason. Trying to explain why I don't like March Madness is difficult. Before I star

I have a reoccurring nightmare that leaves me in a complete panic when I wake up. And it's technically not scary. It's not apocalyptic, gory, or tragic. It's just stressful. It's me needing to be at work in 5 minutes, but suddenly I find myself driving my car in Upstate New York. My GPS tells me that my estimated time of arrival is 11 hours later. When I realize that there is no possible way that I will make it to work on time, I start to panic. My sleeping, subconscious brain runs itself ragged trying to figure out some way to make it to work. I try to find the nearest airport, but then realize even if I found an airport I still wouldn't make it. (And even my sleeping, subconscious brain knows I wouldn't be able to afford the plane ticket). I always wake up feeling helpless and anxious, but I calm down as soon as I realize that I am in control. I would never be irresponsible enough to drive to Upstate New York before work. And sleeping late doesn't usually

In 2005 Oprah ruined my life. That’s entirely an overstatement but she did change it significantly. Usually Oprah is attributed with making people’s lives easier. She’ll give them a new car, 17 iPads, a small country in the southern hemisphere. All Oprah ever gave me was a hard time. In May of 2005 I was working at the Jockey outlet store at the Tanger Mall in Blowing Rock, North Carolina. Selling discounted underwear was by no means a glamorous job, but it was easy, it paid relatively well, and I worked with some good people. We felt united in the necessary but frequently awkward role we played as underwear retailers. I always felt like I was doing a service because I knew that buying underwear made some people feel vulnerable. I myself have gone to a store to buy underwear and then when I realized who would be ringing me up, I put it back and left the store. Either they were too male, or too attractive, or too all of the above. I hated the idea of some size 0 asshole (whose

Whenever I try to watch Wheel of Fortune, I get really antsy; if I ever watch it, it's because I am waiting for Jeopardy to come on. Most Jeopardy-watchers that I know (myself included) are either obvious or closet know-it-alls. I was never good at things like sports or pretty much anything other than school, (plus I’m short) so I’ve always used sarcasm and intelligence as a defense mechanism. I guess watching Jeopardy and shouting out the answers like a jerk is my version of a pick-up game of soccer. But I think I've recently discovered that I prefer Jeopardy for a very different reason. It isn't just a game show for smart people (or people who think they are smart); it is also a game show for control freaks. Jeopardy contestants don't spin a wheel. They select a category. They have complete control over what category they can select. And even if the contestants aren't knowledgeable in a certain category, they don't have to answer a question if they don