The Science of Selfish

These last couple days I’ve been obsessed with the concept of implosion. It’s basically the act of an organism collapsing in on itself. It involves a lot of science that I can’t understand or explain. (Like really, I cannot but one of my three Bio 101 professors could in a heart-beat…third time’s a charm apparently). It can happen when the pressure outside of the organism is too great and it collapses inward under the strain, like a submarine imploding because of water pressure when it goes to great depths. Implosion is also responsible for those “water tornadoes” that happen in the bathtub when you drain it. A vortex is created by the process of implosion (again, I have no idea how). In the construction world, unwanted and dilapidated buildings are imploded so they collapse in on themselves instead of falling and harming the structures around them. Demolition teams strategically place dynamite throughout the building so it blows in instead of up or out. (Apparently there are entire groups of people who really enjoy watching videos of this because when I youtubed implosion, my eyes were opened up to yet another highly specific (and a disconcerting) special interest group). Refer to video below.



(Please don't assume that the tone of this piece is as drastic as this video...it's really not).

Why my sudden interest in implosion? No, silly; I didn’t watch any Michael Bay films today. This weekend I heard a man say that if we allow ourselves to be selfish all the time, we will eventually implode. I’ve been thinking about this comment ever since.

Is it possible for people to implode? (Please don’t picture this literally. It’s gross. I’m speaking metaphorically). And can this really be caused by selfishness?

Being selfish isn’t something we have to try hard to do. Self-preservation, hunger, thirst, pain, pleasure, basically chemical reactions in our bodies make it easy and expected for us to be selfish. That’s the nature part of it. Society or nurture (sort of) tells us to work against some of these natural inclinations. Most children are taught the value of sharing and charity when they are young. (Of course they’re also taught that they are what they own by American Popular Culture, but that’s a different blog). However, I’ve decided that as you get older and into your late twenties, early thirties, the possibility for selfishness reaches its all time high before heading back down into tolerable levels again. Especially for people who are like me: single and childless. (I’m not trying to alienate my baby-having, married friends and family…I just don’t think you’re as selfish as I am…sorry…and you’re welcome).

So I started thinking about selfishness and how it relates to implosion. If you are married and/or a parent, a whole lot of your energy is projected outwards towards your children and spouse. For most moms and dads, before having a baby, the impetus to get out of bed was their own hunger or their own bladder; now, many of their mornings begin by taking care of their children’s immediate needs before their own. Spouses make sacrifices on a daily basis, especially with the autonomy of their time and space. Losing privacy and the ability to spend my days when and where I want are probably the biggest reasons why I fear the ginormous commitment of love and marriage. (Still pretty sure that my need for privacy and time is getting worse after living alone for 5 years…but again, I’ll save that blog for another day). Either way, a lot of the selfish energy used to fuel married and/or baby-having peoples’ decisions is now directed outwards towards their family members’ health, safety, and enjoyment. Congratulations, the gravitational pull is less central to you; scientifically, this does, in fact, make you less likely to implode. (Yes there are exceptions to this, and those exceptions are called bad parents and bad spouses). However married/parental people who expel more selfless energy than myself...you aren't completely in the clear. You're suspectible to a different type of catastrophic chemical reaction. If you give off too much energy and don't direct any inwards towards yourself, you are in danger of losing your center of gravity completely. The side effect of this is oftentimes resentment of the things and people that receive your energy.

If you are completely selfish, as I have found myself becoming over the past few years, living mostly day-in-and-day-out for my own comfort and desires, it does seem like it can be a very dangerous and volatile state of matter. If I focus every ounce of my energy inwards, then eventually that pressure might push against me until I implode, like the submarine in water that’s too deep. We are all our own center of gravity; this is true as we are all our own reference points. But if we continue to increase that gravitational pull by never thinking, living, being, or projecting energy outside of ourselves, eventually our inner gravity will have grown to dangerous proportions. Steven Hawking might disagree with me, but isn’t that what creates black holes? When the gravitational pull at the center of a universe or a star becomes too great and it causes the entire organization to implode into oblivion? If I continue to feed my selfish-gravitational-pull, will I eventually become a mercenary, spiritless black hole? And again, the venerable Mr. Hawking would probably disagree with me but maybe that’s what black holes really are? All of the really really really selfish people in the world that just couldn’t get it together? Like what if Bernie Madoff didn’t JUST steal billions of dollars, but he also created a giant black hole out in left field of our beautiful Milky Way Galaxy?

I’m not saying that the cure for my rabid selfishness is a husband or an illegitimate child (not only is that a resentful Maury Povich show waiting to happen, it would also make teaching the Scarlet Letter VERY uncomfortable). But I do think the possibility for selfishness is high when you are single and childless, working a steady job, and living alone. Especially if you went to college. What is college if not the time to be incredibly selfish? YOU are figuring out what YOU want to do, who YOU are, where YOU want to be, and most of my friends (and if this doesn’t describe you than just ignore it) did all of this soul-searching on their PARENTS’ dollar(s). By the time I left college, my ego was well-fed, fat even…and by a university meal card that my dad gave me (Thanks Dad!). No, I’m not saying that the solution is marriage and babies. But I do need to find more situations to expel selfish energy outward, to find a higher purpose somewhere outside of my own comfort and plans. Thankfully my job has subconsciously provided a nice system of checks and balances for my selfishness, but that doesn’t keep me from being stingy with my time and energy when I’m not working. And I really need to work on that before I start the irreversible and cataclysmic process of implosion. Or before the structures around me decide I’m unfit, and they bring me down so as not to harm themselves.

What this really means is that if you need a favor, nows the time for asking because I’m feeling especially inspired.

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'" -Martin Luther King, Jr.